OMGOSH~ *clears cobwebs*

When was the last time i blogged? What happened to all the things I wanted to blog abt when I was in Hong Kong??!! I guess this is me.. a big fat procrastinator..

Anyways, I just wanted to say rehi to blogspot after being MIA for so damn long.. I also need an avenue to vent my frustrations.. Yes. I'm frustrated, stressed, upset, regretful, irritated.. whatever negative emotions, u name it.. WHY AM I FEELING SO BAD? I guess the underlying reason is....its going to be the time of the month sooon.. But there are just so many things buzzing ard me, amplifying all these negative feelings.. I am too lazy to elaborate but ya.. I'm just upset.

I wish I could vanish into thin air.. like really just disappear from the surface of earth (don't worry i'm not suicidal..) and all my loved ones would have no memories of me. so it is as though LIEW LI XIANG has not existed in this world at all.. I know its not possible. You may think that I'm being emo, I don't cherish my life and the people around me.. I am still young and there's so much to life, I shouldn't be thinking of ending my life just like this. I know I shouldn't be so emo but well I can't control my feelings right.

Sometimes I question myself, why can't I take things easy? Why can't I face failures and accept criticism in a 大方 manner? So what if i don't do well in school? so what if i offend people around me? so what if i'm making mistakes? Just learn from experience, be optimistic and move on in life! So what if I can't find a good job? So what if in the end, I nv achieve anything in my life? Life still goes on! The earth doesn't stop spinning just bec of me! Look on the bright side of things. Easier said than done. I can only say, I'll try my best. I feel that I'm getting more and more irritating & detestable if I continue to be so proud, pessimistic and oversensitive. so friends, sorry if I was irritating.. hahaha..

after penning down the thoughts swirling in my mind.. I feel more settled down. but I still wish I could disappear, like pooof and I'm gone, leaving no footprints behind... if only things are so simple..


p.s. I dunno who is still reading this blog.. but just wanna emphasize again that I'm not suicidal.. I'm just ranting. Don't ask me specifically what upset me so much bec I can't pinpoint anything. It is my mood in general.